Fear Not!

Okay, so this is not a "real" blog post. But if I made lots of posts like this, then it might be, no? This is merely a very cool idea that I wanted to pass on. This is why you go to college. And, apparently, Africa.

This world is not my home, so while I'm passing through...

Myself, my husband and a few of our associates are pondering a trip down to Cape Canaveral this November to watch a shuttle launch. Details are still pending - but if it works out, it'll be one of those memories we keep for our grandchildren. As I was telling a friend about this, she asked me if seeing a shuttle launch was on my "bucket list." Now, not having made a "bucket list," I'm thinking that's impossible - but not for long! People's goals change, what I value will change - so I thought it might be a good idea to make a list of "Things to do while I'm passing through" - even if I don't ever accomplish them all, it'll be interesting to see how, in 1, 5 or 10 years, this list has changed: what items have been crossed out, what has been added, and what, if anything, has become less important.

1) Explore Europe as Husband & Wife

Scott and I had a lot of fun in Oxford, but it was the "getting to know you in a new context" kind of fun. Perhaps my best memory with my Mom (so far!) is when we spent a week travelling around Europe, exploring new cultures and learning about each other. I really want that kind of an experience with Scott - preferably without kids (so either in the next few years or with a really awesome baby-sitter/ grandma!).

2) Live in a foreign land I want to put down at least semi-roots somewhere that is not in America. Toronto might count for Scott, as he had the stability of the university, but not for me - as I never really had the necessary "tethers" to make our life in Canada stable for me. I want a steady income, scheduled life, health plan, bank, neighbors, the whole nine yards. Ideally, English would not be the native tongue and we would stay for more than a year.

3) Have kids Okay, this might seem to be a "given" - but I know there'll come a time some day mid-way through this whole "have kids" process when I'm wondering why in the world I ever stopped taking birth control. This item is on the list to remind me that I want to have that moment, move past it and appreciate all the wonderful moments that come before, during and after. Scott, my love, I can't wait to see you as a dad and I can't wait to be a mom!

4) Relax at a spa This is on the list because if it wasn't, it would never happen as it is too much money for one day's worth of pleasure. But I really want to do the whole "spa treatment" thing - preferably as part of #1 or #2, as then I'd have a chance of experiencing a traditional spa day, whether it be Japanese baths, Roman baths or Russian travelling spas, I'm up for it!

5) Go PAST my limits I'm not sure what activity this will end up being - but I'm confident its out there. Whether sky diving or climbing a really big mountain or performing on stage in front of a large audience, I want to find my comfort zone and step out of it in a major and memorable way.

6) Publish Something I have too many stories inside of me to not complete and submit something for publishing at least once every year or so. With enough persistence, maybe one of my stories or books would get published. Even if that doesn't happen, though, I want to go through the process.

7) Attend Burning Man Fire, lots of fire and things ON fire and music and, oh, the moment I heard about this festival I knew it was for me!

8) Sleep in the Redwoods I've been there once, now I want to go camping! I only have vague memories of these giant trees, so I want to make firm ones and have the whole experience.

9) Take a road trip With a group of solid friends. At the end, we'll all either love each other or hate each other. I want this experience!

You may notice that seeing a shuttle launch is not on this list. Well, I think Scott ought to have SOME things that are on his list and not mine, right? And, although I am as psyched as it is possible to be about something that is at the "still figuring out if its possible" stage of planning, seeing a shuttle launch has never been something I've always said "I want to DO THAT!" about - so it doesn't go on the list...yet. If I am denied this opportunity, it may make its way onto the list.

The Merrie Monthe of May

Okay, I started to write a post about what's been happening in the last month (MONTH!) - but there's a few things still going on. Enough that I'm seriously still too overwhelmed to write about it in detail. Suffice it to say that:
May 1st (Friday) - purchased house
May 2nd (Saturday) - moved into house
May 6th (Wednesday) - house got carpet
May 8th (Friday) - in Dallas to see new Star Trek movie with Trekkie friends (AWESOME!)
May 9th (Saturday) - sewed Tina's ren faire costume all day
May 13th (Wednesday) - new water heater in house
May 15th (Friday) - in College Station for Matt's graduation
May 23rd (Saturday) - My BIRTHDAY - spent at Ren Faire, also, mery got engaged
May 25th (Monday) - Memorial day party with friends!
May 28th (Thursday) thru May 31st (Sunday) - in Dallas for A-Kon
June 1st (Monday) - Mom & Lynna come to visit & help with house - guest room & study are now painted
June 5th (Friday) - not going out of town, so we have a game night!

Wow, looking back at that, no WONDER we're exhausted. Happy, but drop dead tired! And in 2 days, I shall add June 11 (Thursday) - Welcomed 2 Bengal kitties into our new home.

Hedgehog (an actual, unedited IM conversation between myself and my sister)

MaryLynn: Hedgehog. Yeah, you heard me.

me: no.
GASP
you can't mean
HEDGEHOG!

MaryLynn: yes, I'm afraid it's true

me: wow
I mean
I always knew
but I never expected

MaryLynn: You know what this means, right? We will have to... take steps.

me: what will you do now?
yes
steps must be taken
certain...drastic measures

MaryLynn: Can you make the preperations for me?

me: I'm afraid not
this is something you must do

MaryLynn: I'm just... not sure if I can... It's just too much for me

me: for yourself

MaryLynn: Help me, Hanni, you are my only hope!
I mean, honestly... the prophecies have foretold... and now, hedgehog...

me: deep down inside, though, you know this something you must do
and I know you have the strength

MaryLynn: Alright. Can you bring me... THE CHEESE BALL OF DOOM please?

me: are...are you sure you're prepared?
do you need a little time to think about this?

I mean, you have options, surely?

MaryLynn: do you think maybe THE CHEESE BALL OF DOOM is overkill?

me: it might indeed, be overkill
perhaps merely the crackers of imminent peril ?

MaryLynn: perchance.

But only in conjunction with the /wine of complaining/

me: here, I bring them to you on a platinum plated silver platter cast in the shape of a steep hill

MaryLynn: No!
you must not!

me: oh my! you are right

MaryLynn: yay verily, the imminent peril is overly enhanced by the platinum!

me: perhaps the gold & emerald encrusted basket with lavender ribbons?

MaryLynn: nay, the lavender ribbons simply will not do.

me: but the lavender ribbons add a softening touch
and they go so nicely with your robe of cerimoniousness

MaryLynn: aaah, true, true.
'tis important to match the robe.

me: perhaps the risk of the lavender ribbons would be lessened if I tucked a watermelon flavored gummi bear in the bow?

MaryLynn: hmmm, that might do. Only so long as the bow is tied in a sailors knot, and you hold your breath while tying it.

me: that I can do
that, but no more!

MaryLynn: or else who knows what might happen!

me: for, as I said, you must face this task on your own

MaryLynn: ah yes. with no assistance at all

me: none

MaryLynn: *sigh *

me: no matter how convincingly the Scottish sheep argue

MaryLynn: ack, they are mighty persuasive

me: beware their fiendish baahs

MaryLynn: and bleats

me: and remember.
Hedgehog

MaryLynn: *shudder *
I shall be strong, my dearest.
I shall endure.
And now, I must be off, for this cannot wait.
The basket?

me: here it is, I hand it to you with my left hand turned sideways
in the Persian manner

MaryLynn: standing on your left foot alone?

me: my left foot and my left foot only

MaryLynn: ah, good.
I accept the basket with my eyebrows raised and my nose crinkled, holding it precisely betwixt the second and fifth fingers of the right hand.

me: as is only proper

MaryLynn: and now repeat the ceremonial words after me "Yon is the day of the hedgehog, beware all ye eaters of crackers, for your time cometh. The day is near and the gummi bear is at the door. Prepare yourselves!"

me: "Yon is the day of the hedgehog, beware all ye eaters of crackers, for your time cometh. The day is near and the gummi bear is at the door. Prepare yourselves!"

MaryLynn: And so it is, and so it shall be. Farewell, dear sister! Until I return, victoriously or in a small box!

me: a tear slides down my cheek
I wipe it off, with my paisley kerchif
Farewell!

Looking forward

It's cold outside. Which has nothing and everything to do with my day. I got dropped off at work today, because Scott needed the car to run errands. Hopefully he'll come home with a bag full o' goodies from a very specific sale we've been haunting. Not necessarily things for us (okay, a FEW things for us) but lots of goodies! Good ones! Despite the deadline being three days away, I'm still trying to figure out my Statement of Purpose for the MSIS degree at UT. Prayers and good thoughts appreciated, for sure. But, the theme of my week, and really, of my month, is going to be the following:

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25

I've tried to make a practice of reading the Proverbs 31 woman verses once a month. This month, this verse in particular seems to be especially pertinent. As Scott and I have been deciding what our plans will be for the future as regards housing, I realized just how important it is to be able to "laugh at the days to come." Not just for spiritual or practical reasons - although those are many - but for my own happiness. If I can look at the future with joy instead of fear, then my days are full of hope, not drudgery. In fact, if I look at those days which I've been most depressed, I think most of them can be seen to stem almost directly from a lack of certainty in my future. So, as we're going forward, I'm making this a priority - no matter what we do, I want to be able to laugh at the days to come.

I promise that eventually I'll stop posting links and start writing posts again. Really

"Many individual do not realize the benefits of playing board games especially in relation to health."

I knew it! I knew it! Now go, check out the full article!
http://playingboardgames.com/playing-board-games-helps-prevent-degenerative-diseases/

This is incredibly hilarious

XKCD is occasionally all too true

This gives a whole new meaning to the LOLCat CD I made when my hard drive got too full.

Music Through the Years

You know how sometimes songs come back to you, songs you haven't listened to in 10 years or more, songs you don't even like any more?! That's what happened to me today. I have "Every Heartbeat" by Amy Grant stuck in my head. So, in 5 year increments, can you find a song, artist & genre that was significant to your life? Here's mine

Age 5
Song: The Wheels on the Bus
Artist: Raffi
Genre: Anything with repeatable lyrics, Hymns

Age 10
Song: "Every Heartbeat" - Amy Grant
Artist: Twila Paris
Genre: Christian Pop

Age 15
Song: "Socially Acceptable" - DC Talk
Artist: MercyMe
Genre: Christian Rock & Praise Band

Age 20
Song: "Ballad of San Francisco" - Caedmon's Call
Artist: SuperChic[k]
Genre: Folk, Christian Punk, Broadway Musicals

Age 25
Song: "The Call" - Regina Spektor
Artist: The Killdares
Genre: Punk Ska, Broadway Musicals, Celtic Rock

PS - right now? I'm listening to "Stand in the Rain" by SuperChic[k]

Boom-di-yada

I found this by clicking around on Trick's vid:




Which is also awesome.

PS - I love Egyptian kings!

Searching for Inspiration

Okay, today is November 5th. I am officially behind in my writing. I didn't write yesterday. Not because I was engrossed with watching a US map being slowly colored in by the votes of the populace, but because I couldn't stand the idea of sitting in front of a computer screen. Honestly, I barely got with the sitting. Mostly I slouched (something you cannot do in an office chair & office clothes). Mostly I played Final Fantasy X. Mostly I did. not. write. Grrrr. But it's okay. Because ya'll are gonna bug me if I don't write for at least an hour tonight, right? RIGHT? 

In other news, I did occasionally switch from channel 3 awesomeness to Any Other Channel (except the CW) and check on the election. Yes, they apparently decided that this historic election was more important than the adventures of Ziva, Tony, Abby, Ducky, Tim & Gibbs. This, of course, disrupted my Tuesday enormously. I get my warm fuzzies from watching slaps up the back of the head and a happy goth forensic scientist with a caffeine addiction. And yes, the lack of NCIS did indeed mess up my night. I am a creature of habit. Fortunately, despite frustrating programming decisions on the part of CBS, I managed to get to sleep relatively quickly and slept fairly well. 

Okay, so the big news of the day is that we have a new President-elect, right? And, living in a liberal city in a conservative state, I feel like the only reason this hasn't been the only thing on people's tongues is that I'm at work. And you're not supposed to talk about politics at work. Right? Despite that, I could tell you without hesitancy the political leanings of everyone in the office. Although they probably couldn't tell you mine. Because mine, like me, are not simple. But my feelings right now, about the results of the last TWO YEARS of campaigning, are pretty easy to put forth:

The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing.

I find that the theme of my time in Austin so far has been one of reminding myself that God is in control.  God did not sit up in heaven, watching the polls come in going "I wonder who they will pick!  Oh, what will I do?"  God has this planned out.  From beginning to the end.  Alpha, Omega.  God plans for big things like nations and little things like me getting a job or taking the GRE.  God is in control.

A living poet that I actually relate to

Eavan Boland is an Irish poet that Scott is reading for one of his classes. I Googled her today because I was curious about what he was reading. What I found was a modern poet whose train of thought I can really follow. Her construction is beautiful and gives me hope that, one day, I can express with words the thoughts that at the moment I can only describe as images...images I don't have the skill to paint or draw and only ever so often can I find a way to create them. So, today I give you this poem, one of the seven or so I found read-able online. I hope it makes you think, I hope it makes you remember, I hope it makes you look for beauty in your life.

What Language Did

The evening was the same as any other.
I came out and stood on the step.
The suburb was closed in the weather

of an early spring and the shallow tips
of washed-out yellows of narcissi
resisted dusk. And crocuses and snowdrops.

I stood there and felt the melancholy
of growing older in such a season,
when all I could be certain of was simply

in this time of fragrance and refrain,
whatever else might flower before the fruit,
and be renewed, I would not. Not again.

A car splashed by in the twilight.
Peat smoke stayed in the windless
air overhead and I might have missed:

a presence. Suddenly. In the very place
where I would stand in other dusks, and look
to pick out my child from the distance,

was a shepherdess, her smile cracked,
her arm injured from the mantelpieces
and pastorals where she posed with her crook.

Then I turned and saw in the spaces
of the night sky constellations appear,
one by one, over roof-tops and houses,

and Cassiopeia trapped: stabbed where
her thigh met her groin and her hand
her glittering wrist, with the pin-point of a star.

And by the road where rain made standing
pools of water underneath cherry trees,
and blossoms swam on their images,

was a mermaid with invented tresses,
her breasts printed with the salt of it and all
the desolation of the North Sea in her face.

I went nearer. They were disappearing.
Dusk had turned to night but in the air -
did I imagine it? - a voice was saying:

This is what language did to us. Here
is the wound, the silence, the wretchedness
of tides and hillsides and stars where

we languish in a grammar of sighs,
in the high-minded search for euphony,
in the midnight rhetoric of poesie.

We cannot sweat here. Our skin is icy.
We cannot breed here. Our wombs are empty.
Help us to escape youth and beauty.

Write us out of the poem. Make us human
in cadences of change and mortal pain
and words we can grow old and die in.

Eavan Bolan

Just in case some of ya'll were still wondering...

Despite any rumors to the contrary, I'm

A new discovery

Well, I've recently been further exploring the world of online Manga. http://www.genkigirl.com/comics.html is one I just found today. It's really sweet, well told story, interesting characters - but what really gets me is the art. I've been reading Manga in print for a while - and webcomics for even longer - and this is the first one I've read where the art itself is inspiring. And just when NaNoWriMo is about to get started, too! How lucky am I?! Pretty lucky!

P.S. - Expect a post about NaNoWriMo soon.

English Major Alert!

in·or·di·nate [in-awr-dn-it] –adjective
1. not within proper or reasonable limits; immoderate; excessive: He drank an inordinate amount of wine.
2. unrestrained in conduct, feelings, etc.: an inordinate admirer of beauty.
3. disorderly; uncontrolled.
4. not regulated; irregular: inordinate hours

Why am I pushing this rather fun word? Because I used "inordinately" in normal conversation and thought to myself..."I know I'm using this word correctly, but it's just because I've read it so many times. I wonder what it ACTUALLY means." And therefore, here are the results of my wonderings. And it's all thanks to the marvels of the interwebs!

Gone Incognito

Okay, so I decided to check out the Incognito function of Google chrome - pretty cool if I want to buy Scott a birthday present or whatever, right? I open a new Incognito window and I get the following message, proving once again that this is a piece of Google software:

You've gone incognito. Pages you view in this window won't appear in your browser history or search history, and they won't leave other traces, like cookies, on your computer after you close the incognito window. Any files you download or bookmarks you create will be preserved, however.

Going incognito doesn't affect the behavior of other people, servers, or software. Be wary of:
Websites that collect or share information about you
Internet service providers or employers that track the pages you visit
Malicious software that tracks your keystrokes in exchange for free smileys
Surveillance by secret agents
People standing behind you

I am soooo amused by the things to be wary of.

Banned Book Week

This week (Sept 27-Oct 4) is Banned Books Week.

This morning, on my way to work, I heard a NPR story about some scientists who are attempting to change the Texas curriculum so that teachers are not allowed to teach the strengths and weaknesses of the theory of evolution.

The combination of the two present an interesting juxtaposition and, like flint and iron, spark up the bit of me that really wishes I WAS a High School Teacher. (Yes, that bit is also insane. But, hey, MOST of me is insane.)

In the end, it all comes down to Critical Thinking. I firmly believe that each individual has the right to make up their own mind. Now, of course, please do not think me the idiot who would have our children fend for themselves with things like stranger danger, hot stoves, or even marijuana. But, if it enters the realm of thought, then I believe that the best approach is to encourage each individual to engage with the beliefs of others. When an authority, like a school or library, decides to arbitrarily ban things like books or concepts, I get more than a little upset.

Americans are sheep. Hey, I admit it - I'm a sheep. I consume with the very best of consumers and only occasionally do I take the time to stop and inspect the contents of what I'm gulping down. What values do my favorite TV shows espouse? When was the last time I read a non-genre fiction book? I miss FNW soooo much when I think about that - because ya'll would encourage my critical thinking brain to wake up and smell the bacon & eggs. (mmm, Bacon! Now, tell me, oh "I'm Not A Consumer" - what commercial did you just think of? Do you even own a dog?)

So, yes, there is a part of me that wants to dash to the public schools and work my butt off encouraging free speech, critical thinking and a lack of apathy. But the rest of me just wants to go home and watch Criminal Minds. Guess which half will win?

Stratfor.com

Some friends of ours tuned us in to Stratfor.com - a political analysis website that attempts to offer a fair, well-thought-out, unbiased look at US government and politics.

This link: http://www.stratfor.com/analysis/20080922_new_president_and_global_landscape is an example of what they do - it is a look at foreign policy (what the presidential debate was supposed to be on last Friday) and what issues the next US president needs to address. I found this informative and very read-able and I encourage you to give it a read, even if you're not of voting age!

The Killdares make me smile

My fave song, so far, is September. Or, maybe Gone West...but then, Farewell to Decorum is also good, and you've gotta give Dichotomy some props. Yep - I love the Killdares. And they're playing at the State Fair this year. So I'll get to see them live in concert yet again - and also pick up their new CD. I'm not sure about where they're going with this new sound...but I'll ride it for now - we shall see, Tim Smith, we shall see.

New Job!

Okay, so - in order to be able to tell the full story in all it's glory, and to avoid repeating myself, I will here-in tell about my new job. This is the job that God gave me, just like that, over there, is the house that Jack built. Its just the facts - God gave me this job, and I'll tell you how I know this, thanks to the magic of e-mail time-stamps.

At about 1:30pm on Thursday, September 25th, I had a terrific conversation with my mother-in-law, Ginger. We talked about how I was going about job seeking, she gave suggestions and encouragement and it was very good. After getting off the phone with her, I decided that I should really apply for a few jobs today. So, to "warm up" as you will, I went on Craigslist and looked through the day's listings. So, I whipped out an e-mail, attached my resume & references and went merrily along my way. I did not (as has been the case for some applications) spend very long writing the cover letter - this was just a "warm-up" job application, because everybody knows that you don't get jobs off of Craigslist, because the people don't know you and in this competitive market, the people need to know you to give you a job.

So, I sent said e-mail at 2:31pm. At 2:34pm, I received a reply from Amy at EuroSoft, asking me to call her. So, of course, I called her right away. We talked on the phone for about 30 minutes, basically a phone interview. It ended with her sending me 3 tests - a typing, a word & an excel. These I took on our computer and finished at about 3:50pm or so. I did rather well on these tests - scoring a personal best on the typing test (71wpm!) and getting close to perfect on the word & excel. So, needless to say, Amy was impressed. She told me she would send my resume & test scores to their COO and hopefully he would want to interview me soon.

So, I excitedly called my prayer warriors (Mom & Ginger) and told them the news. Much excitement was had by all.

4:42pm - I get a call from Amy. The COO really likes my resume - he loves my test scores. Can. I. Start. TOMORROW?!!! Amy has never had this happen before - he wants to hire me without ever meeting me face to face, without even talking to me personally! I hesitate, because of the newness of it all, but say yes - better to give a good first impression before they change their minds!

So...in about 2 hours....I go from the edging into the pits of jobless despair to doing the "I have a job!" dance! You can see how God is amazing, right? How He made this happen, as I'd been praying and PRAYING for Him to do.

Okay, now the people I have been telling this story to, at this point, say "That's awesome! But, WHAT IS YOUR JOB?!" Seeing as that is the actual question they have asked, I can understand. But, really, this story is too cool NOT to tell!

So, what is my job? I am the Corporate Receptionist/Front Desk Associate for a software & staffing company (Yes, I am, after all my temp work, working for a staffing company. I don't think this is a mere coincidence.) I work with the office manager, but get assignments from the COO & CIO (i.e., they are my technical bosses). I earn less than amazing, but way better than peanuts - and about what I had thought was going to be my starting salary here in Austin - $11.50 an hour, with a re-assess in 60 days and a promise of moving up to $12 at that time. I answer phones & receive guests, I input resumes and get the mail - I make sure that Wolf (the CIO) has coffee every 2 hours. I water 3 plants every other day. This job is enough to keep me busy, I assure you. And, did I mention it's a JOB?!

But, there are also intriguing futures in this job. At the end of yesterday, I was told that they want to make me the "office expert" on Word, Excel & Vista (good thing I ended up with a Vista computer!). So, I will be taking training programs for this software to fill in any gaps in my knowledge. This, to me, says they are making me an indispensable part of their office. The COO has also told me that there are several things on my resume that make him confident that I can move forward in this company. They use this position as an entry to their company, so I can see how this would be a good thing. Because of this, I already know a place I can contribute to the company. There are 3 people who had this job before me and are now doing other things in this office, and yet nobody knows the fullness of this job. So, one thing I know I'm going to do is make a Corporate Receptionist handbook, so that the next person to be in my position has a little more to go on.

So, that's my job - Corporate Receptionist for a staffing company that specializes in technical jobs. There's another office that is EuroStaff & specializes in office personnel (that's where Amy who interviewed me works) - but here they have a ship's bell that gets rung - once when a recruiter gets an interview, and a whole lot when a recruiter gets a placement. Everyone is super friendly and the atmosphere is definitely casual. (I think the unofficial uniform of the software guys is Hawaiian shirts.) So, a good thing all around. The only downside is that there's no bus anywhere nearby - so we are (unfortunately) dependent on our car. This is not so great - but, hey - I now feel really good about all the time I spent practicing driving it!

So, yes, we went out and bought Baileys and ice cream Thursday night. But I was in bed before midnight - because I had to get up early...for my JOB!!! (Another perk, Friday was an exception, but my typical hours are 8:30am to 5:30pm. Not EXACTLY Toronto hours, but about as close as you can get in the USA!)